We often lead with answers to others. Without context. And one never ever knows another person’s context. Never will and never can. Except perhaps by asking, but even then in a very limited way. But we fill in the blanks and we would like to solve it for them. Poorly. And I have been at fault for that all. All my life. And I have written before about the value of quietness and nothingness.
Then, again what are the alternatives to answers? Is it leading with questions? Except for a few truly open-ended questions of support, most questions have an inherent bias by embedding a suggested answer in them. By forcing to lead to a preconceived answer.
That leaves us with the only answer. Being there. For the other person. In whatever way they want. And waiting for their asks. And this is truly hard.
Well, it is also possible to practice the same with ourselves. Clearing our minds from answers - that which might eliminate a great portion of our wants and needs. Clearing our minds of questions too. Instead of asking why, what, who, how, which. Dialing down the curiosity. Emptying and accepting things as they are without labeling things. And trying some silence and emptiness from the ever wandering mind. Often called mindfulness. Mindful that we are human. That we are flawed. That we are built to be flawed. Being there at peace with yourself. Transcending the desire to make meaning, any meaning.
But, then again we are human. So there is no fault if we fail. But do try finding the “being there” and the “just being”, as one might get lucky and find nirvana, and be among the outlier few who do so in this lifetime.