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In me, she is
Muse #403 - life is just a continuum
It is three years today since my mother died. And it does bring back memories. Not of just her struggles in her last decade with uncontrolled diabetes or her last few years of breast cancer that lead to her ultimate demise. Not of her lack of sufficient education and understanding of science that did not help her much with her medical struggles. Not the fact that she was blessed to have my father who took care of her diligently in the last decades of her life.
I remember more of the younger days with her. The traits that I derived from her through my genetics. In a lot of ways, I am like my mom. In spite of her lack of sufficient education, she was the classical entrepreneur in the family. Taking risks to give us a better life. Dreaming of options to provide us with more within the constraints of the lifestyle we grew up with. Aspiring to give us things that she did not have. That is the mom that I remember.
And in a way, life is a continuum. In little things that I represent her by doing things like her. Being like her. Maybe sometimes that I was programmed by her when I grew up. In me, she is. She is just part of me. My upbringing. Being part of the family I grew up in. Previous generations of life imprint on future generations - good and the bad, conscious and the unconscious. Such is the beauty of this and it goes on. Generation to generation.
And this happens downstream from me too. My daughters have taken in things from me and are a part of me. Things in them that would never ever go away. So, in them, I continue. And life continues on.
And this is not just with genetic or generational traits alone. It is the same with me and my spouse. In her, I am and in me, she is. The long years of partnership have ended up imprinting parts of us on each other. And so I leave a bit of me in her, as she leaves a bit of her in me.
So, ma. You are here still. Living on. Until the time generations fade away.